Some lyrics

[dangerzone]

Shevy said:

Awesome. Here's a lyric I wrote just off the top of my head. It's an emo song about how much I love pancakes:

Pancakes, pancakes, in the air,
Where they land I don't know where.
I think I flipped one into my hair,
That shit's so long I'll never get it out of there.
Despair.

(*fixed the quote thing*)

HORATIO IS RELIEVED THAT ISN'T SHEVY. IF IT WAS I WOULD BE FORCED TO RESIGN MY POST FROM KITF AND BECOME DISASOCIATED FROM THIS FORUM.

[Shevy]

That's a good looking motherfucker. Sure, he gets pancakes stuck in his hair on occassion, but who doesn't?

Here's a lyric I wrote this morning when I was angry about walking into the bathroom at work after somebody took a dump.

Argh! I can barely fucking breathe!
I think somebody's asshole exploded in here.
How did they get it to splatter on the outside of the bowl?
I think they also pissed on the floor.
What a dirty fucking mongrel.
Would it kill you to leave the fan running?
Not that I don't enjoy the handi-work of your colon,
But passing out and hitting my head on the sink makes it hard for me to work.

[1:(]

I wrote this about the band AFI just now. It's called "A Faggot Inside".

You think your band's hardcore
I think that's folklore
Go back to the East Bay
Before you get more gay

[1:(]

I have prepared some endearingly charming lyrics for a song titled "Lifetime Movies Give Me Gonorrhea"

Who's that lady who's constantly bitching
Because she got raped in prison
Fighting for every little cause
Brainwashing the audiences that she awes
She's the...Lifetime lady!
And she's giving me a venerial disease
She's on a never ending quest, baby
To make the entire world difficult to please
One day we'll all be PC
Or maybe I'll just fuck a chimpanzee
I'm so fucking bored I'm drinking bleach and ripping off other bands

[unclemeat]

Shevy said:

Ah yes. An epic stuggle of humanity vs. conformity...and the love of cabbage.

Here's some lyrics from an old band of mine about how we liked to kick the shit out of this guy at school named "Pete":
Going down the street
Skating by the kids you meet
Beating you is such a treat
Why can't I stop kicking Pete?

I'm kickin' Pete!
Oh what a treat!
I'm kickin' Pete!
Kickin' Pete, kickin' Pete, kickin' Pete kickin' Pete,
Oh what a treat!

There was more to it, but I wrote it roughly 11 - 12 years ago so it's a little foggy.

I wish I could remember the lyrics to Jesus Christ Action Figure

[Shevy]

Ha ha! I loved the music to JCAF, but I thought the lyrics were pretty dumb for the most part. I let Trevor sing all of that one.

One night in Mark's garage we did like a 20 minute version of that song without Trevor. I think Adam has the tape for that, along with the first one we slapped together.

[cockman]

the menace:


he prowls the land
with sword in hand
hunting down shitstains
with utter disdain.

[1:(]

I found this not so old AIM conversation I had saved on my computer. I saved it because the kid I was talking to(and now plan to start a band with) made up some hilarious lyrics right on the spot, this was the best in my opinion:

"look at the use of light an dark imagery" Shakespeares Gay!, Shakespeares Gay! You wrote a fucking sonnet, you made some plays. You over anylized piece of shit im glad your in the grave. English teachers everywhere faint in your name. Force kids to visit community run plays, by fucking gays. Well its time to take that god damn plate off your neck. Im glad your theater burned to ahses. shakespeares gay!, shakespeares gay!

[Shevy]

I like it. People drop Shakespeare's name to sound smart and/or classy. Usually the same people who love classical music and only listen to Mozart.

[1:(]

Something I thought of today:

You were so amazing you took my breath away now give it back to me before I choke to death you dumb whore.

Short, simple, to the point.

[1:(]

Some stuff I wrote yesterday:

Where is your leader now?
Your shock values should be left at hell's gate
You're in just as much fear as the Christians you hate
You live rest assured you'll go to hell when you die
Unable to accept it might all be a lie
The pentagram is your holy cross
Afraid to do good and displease your boss
Your values are opposite but exactly the same
Satan worshippers are fucking lame

Then I wrote another song about one of my friends who's been pissing off me and all my other friends lately.

From the cigars in your car
To talking your politics too far
We're sick of it
Deriving your fun off cheap thrills
With a lack of argumentative skills
We're sick of this shit

I don't like what you've turned into
My friends and I are all sick of you
How much am I going to have to do
To get my friend back

Your point of view, it makes no sense
It's ridiculous
You're not a true socialist
This false economic parading is making me pissed
You're a fucking capitalist
Your new convertible is far from the best
The roof leaks, the stereo's like a bad noise band
It goes with your attitude I can't stand
Change back!

[Shevy]

I've been in the car biz for over seven years now, and here's my observation about convertibles: The only people who drive them are either...
a. old enough for a senior citizen discount
b. a chick
c. a guy who is a homosexual/metrosexual or EXTREMELY feminine

To this day I have yet to see an exception to this rule. No joke.

[1:(]

Well, his hair is long. It used to be normal long, then he got it cut a little and now it looks extremely feminine if that counts.

It's ever since that presidential election. He keeps insisting that all conservatives suck ass and that he's a socialist. I'm no conservative, but why let the political schisms decide your friends?

His arguing is basically:
1) Comes up with a bad idea
2) We say we don't like it
3) He says "What, how could you not like that?" and "Come on" over and over until we get really pissed off and leave

The cheap thrills thing refers to him going into the water at the beach last Friday night when it was cold with these dumb bitches.

Ever since he started smoking cigars(which he apparently does every day because it's badass), he's become all pompous about it and gone all "Smoking's awesome, it's fucking awesome". I'm wondering if he was one of those kids who stayed away from that stuff and will now go insane and try everything.

His car stereo is basically "PFFPFPFPFFPFFPFPFFPFPFPFPFFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFFF"

Yes, the top leaks.

He used to be such a mild mannered kid too.

[Shevy]

Anybody who smokes because it's "awesome" is a fucking dweeb. Sorry, bro, as I know he's your friend and all...but he sounds like a dork. Plus long hair is for chicks. And the next time you see him, ask which branch of socialism he agrees with. Or come up with questions like, "What do you agree more with...Democratic Socialism or a Social Democracy? Leninism vs. Marxism? Arab Socialism vs. African Socialism?"

As a friend, it is your duty to inform him that maybe he should invest in either a library card or a computer with access to the internet before spouting off such brilliant retorts as "come on". That drives me up the wall.

Me: Your music sucks and idea's on religeon are a joke.
Dork: Aw...come on.
Me: Since you put it that way...okay! You must be on the debate team, because that was just brilliant! The way you really put the nasally emphasis on the "aw" part really complimented the second half of your statement! God damn, have you ever thought about starting up your own cult?

[1:(]

Hey, you can shittalk my friends all you want. Especially when I'm talking shit about them. One thing I've learned in the past is to just let comments about your friends slide so as not to start gang wars(unless it becomes persistent that is).

He had the horrible idea of going to a rave the other day. I said "NO" and he was like "Come on...Mike...you know you want to go to a rave...that would be so awesome". I asked why he would want to go to a rave. Sure enough, because it would be awesome. I asked him if he was going to start popping ecstasy and waving around glowsticks. He said no about the ecstasy, but that glowsticks would be awesome.

Thank god he's going away for college.

[Shevy]

Glow sticks were awesome right around the same time Santa Claus and Big Bird were awesome. You need to try and get this guy on the board. He sounds wicked awesome.

[thrashed]

I remember breaking one of those big glowsticks and then all that bright green liquid came out all over my hand and it dried up like a snowball and was throwing it around at people. The next day my hand hurt like hell and I felt like I had arthritis. I think it had to do with the glowstick. As for E that stuff is something I wouldn't do my friend did that shit so much and now he's so fucked off it, when he's on it he'll draw funny little pictures and stare at them with a big grin on his face for like 10 minutes straight i'm not kidding man.

[Shevy]

Talking about the effects drugs have on people...a buddy of mine in school used to do a little too much blow, and by his senior year he was so fucked in the head that he would cut single words out of magazines and newspapers and carry them around in his wallet. He showed me his collection once. It was just a bunch of words like "monster", "garbage", "oysters", etc. I can't even explain how bizarre it was.

[thrashed]

lol really? how much did he do? in my opinion if you wanna do drugs stick to weed.

[Shevy]

I have no idea, but he was the poster child for partying in excess. I've never met anybody who could so casually puke his guts out while continuing to hold a conversation. It was an artform.

And in a nutshell, here's my opinion on weed: Its the drug of choice for students, hippies, and walfare recipients. Everybody I've ever met who has been a stoner for any lengthy amount of time has been a complete failure, basking in the glory of everything from poverty to mediocrity, never once showing any signs of bettering themselves and doing something with their lives. I have zero respect for it.