a funny (but true) story

[thrashed]

I was friends with this one kid back in the day and so I went to his house and his parents let me stay their until he got home and when he got home he was like "i joined the air cadets" (all proud of course ;D) and his dad was like "that shit's for faggots" and kicked his ass and threw his uniform out the window. The kid was balling and he refused to drop out of air cadets to be a rebel and his dad continued to harass him. He had true spirit. . So there you go a wild, yet true, story from a true drunken idiot


P.S I stopped hanging around with him before I moved because he's a loser who's life revolves around his parents. He was highly deprived and I felt very bad for him.

[Shevy]

I used to work with a kid like that. One night I was having a party and invited him along for the hell of it. He said he would, "try to make it", which when anybody tells you that means, "I won't be there".

So a buddy of mine called his house for the hell of it and started giving him shit. The reason he wouldn't come was because, "My parents and I don't feel that underage drinking is acceptable".

[thrashed]

haha I wouldn't waste my time with anyone with that. You know if he's gonna be getting owned by his parents fuck him.

[Hell Bent For Karate Mullets]

You are a dumb gay.

[thrashed]

OH MY GOD your fuckin' smart. And you have sex with hot women. your awsome

[dangerzone]

I'VE GOT A FUNNY STORY AS WELL. ME AND MY BROTHER USED TO STEAL VINYL. WE HAD HUNDREDS OF ALBUMS SITTING AROUND OUR ROOM AND NOTHING TO PLAY THEM ON. NEXT DOOR I HAD A FRIEND WHO WE SOMETIMES HATED AND LIKED. I HATED HIM LOOKING BACK. THIS FAG DECIDED HE WOULD STEAL VINYL AS WELL. IT WASN'T HIS GIG THOUGH. ME AND MY BROTHER WOULD MAKE TRIPS TO WELLINGTON ON THE TRAIN TO STEAL FROM GOOD RECORD STORES. SUDDENLY THIS CREEP WANTED TO MAKE THE TRIP. BEFORE LONG HE WAS STEALING MORE THAN US. AT HIS HOUSE WHILE HE WAS GONE I DISCOVERED HIS STASH OF VINYL WHICH CONTAINED EVERY HALF ASSED BAND ONE COULD IMAGINE, PINK FLYD, THE EAGLES, THE CLASH. I COULD ACCEPT THAT. BUT WHEN I FOUND HE WAS MAKING TRIPS BY HIMSELF I BECAME ENRAGED. ONE DAY HE MADE A SOLO TRIP AND RETURNED WITH MAIDEN, PRIEST AND SABBATH VINYL. METAL WAS OUR DEAL, NOT HIS. WE ABUSED HIM VERBALLY AND CEASED COMMUNICATIONS WITH HIM FOR WEEKS. AFTER A WHILE WE RELENTED AND BROUGHT HIM BACK INTO THE FOLD. BUT I WAS STILL ANGERED BY HIS COPYING OF US. THE FINAL INCIDENT OCCURED WHEN ONE DAY IN EARLY 96 WE WERE PLAYING HIS COMPUTER. I SAID I HAD TO TAKE A SHIT. I WENT OVER TO MY HOUSE AND TOLD MY BROTHER THE COAST WAS CLEAR TO SNEAK IN HIS ROOM AND SEE WHAT HE HAD STOLEN LATELY. HE DID THIS. AFTER WE HAD FINISHED ON THE PC FOR THE NIGHT I WENT HOME. FROM MY ROOM I SAW THIS FRUIT INVESTIGATING HIS DISHEVLLED CURTAINS. HE KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED. THE NEXT NIGHT HE SAID HE HAD CALLED THE POLICE, SAYING HE HAD BEEN BURGLED, THEN HE ANNOUNCED THAT I WASN'T TO COME OVER ANYMORE. THIS WAS AFTER TEN YEARS OF ENDURING THIS IRISH REJECT. AT COLLEGE I WOULD SEE HIM SPORADICALLY. ONE DAY A FRIEND TOLD ME HE HAD SAID ME AND MY BROTHER WERE GAY. I SOUGHT HIM AND ONCE DISCOVERED, PUSHED HIM OVER IN FRONT OF A LARGE CROWD. HE SAID NOTHING, KNOWING I WAS HIS MASTER.

[1:(]

One day four years ago, a friend and I put a dead snake in the middle of a semi-busy road.

When it was finally run over, we heard a loud CRACK!!!

I will never forget that noise.

[thrashed]

animal cruelty is fucking stupid. It doesn't really matter if it's just a snake I guess.

[1:(]

Dude, it was already dead. It's not animal cruelty unless it's still alive.

[thrashed]

oh ok I didn't catch that part.

[thrashed]

how did you steal that vinyl, horatio.. Wouldn't you get caught?

[Shevy]

An old buddy of mine used to steal anything he could get his hands on. Last I heard he was beginning a long sentence for robbing a bank. He was dumb as shit, and will not learn whenever he finally gets out.

[1:(]

How many friends do you have in jail anyway? You have this guy, and the other guy who almost killed some kid by beating on him too hard.

You sound like you had some scary friends back in the day.

[Shevy]

Never really thought about it. Past and present, I count ten altogether not including my little brother. And I don't hang around with the scary, psychopath types. Some people just have a little trouble with the law on occassion, but they're still good people.

[Hell Bent For Karate Mullets]

I used to have a friend that wanted to get AIDS so bad, and he asked me what he should do about it. I mentioned having sex with a hooker without protection, but that would go against his morals since he was a total fag. So I mentioned hooking up with the H freaks and sharing needles all night, but he worked some shit fast food job and couldn't afford it.

So for Christmas one night I paid a sickly homeless man to sneak into his house and rape him while he slept. He called me first thing in the morning and said, "OH MY GOD your fuckin' smart." Santa left some AIDS tests in his stockings, and low and behold he had the HIV!

And he lived happily ever after.

[sc00ts]

i didn't know you were friends with thrashed, waffles

[dangerzone]

MY BROTHER WAS A PIONEER OF STEALING VINYL. HE WOULD BUY A CHEAP, ONE DOLLAR RECORD, THEN EXPERTLY HIDE TWENTY BEHIND IT AND WALK OUT. CARRYING TWE
NTY PIECES OF LARGE SHITTY VINYL AROUND ALL DAY WAS NO FUN EITHER.

[thrashed]

A fucked up thing JUST happened. I had to sneak outside the house to go out for a cigar. which means turn the dead-bolt lock, turn the lock on the knob and slowly open the door. My step dad also smokes cigarettes so I was scared that he might go out for a smoke while I was puffy on a cigar. so anyway, I finally got outside smoked half of it, put it out, and when I tried going back in their was a problem. the fucking lock on the door is now locked. the dead bolt was the only lock I had to undo. So it was 1:00 AM here I could 't ring the doorbell and wake everyone up (smelling like cigars to, might I add) so I had to think fast-I found a window that had 2 panes of glass. I wouldn't have been able to get in but, thankfully my brother broke the second pane of glass before he got kicked out so I was able to undo that window (using those Turing things where there is 4 on each side/corner and take out the glass and sneak in avoid the sharp broken glass (it was a small place to sneak through to cause only the middle of the glass was broken, barley enough to sneak and squeze through). then I had to go through the door and put the glass back in place: I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!! DEJA VUE- I DID THE SAME THING AGAIN!! I HAD TO do it all over again. I finally got it. I was paranoid threw the whole thing to.

[smcproductions]

thrashed said:

I was puffy...

And now you're P Diddy. You're also a pussy that thinks animal cruely is stupid, except for snakes because we all know snakes are the only animals that have no rights. True story about a fag.

[1:(]

Do I have to explain again that the thing was already dead?