Post by Shevy on Sept 10, 2004 13:53:03 GMT -5
Sometimes, Ozzy can be a hard man to understand. Luckily, I have a Kicktransulmorgifier which does a fantastic job of deciphering what the hell he's trying to say. So let's try it out on Ozzy's latest statement about OzzFest...
"Some crazy chick named Frances forced us to end Ozzfest a bit early" said Ozzy.
Translation: If there's one thing I'm good at, it's canceling shows. How dare this hurricane one up me?
"To the people of West Palm Beach and the rest of the state of Florida, Sharon and I want you to know that our thoughts are with all of you and hope everyone made it through the storm okay.
Translation: I'll be sitting back in a recliner watching my gigantic TV as my ugly, fat kids do something obnoxious. You don't really think I care about you guys, do you? I mean, if I gave a flying fuck about you people I'd at least mail a dollar in a get-well card. I tell you what, though. I'll allow the survivors to blow their hard earned cash on my next fecal dropping...er...album.
Rest assured that we’ll be back in West Palm in 2005 for Ozzfest's huge 10th anniversary tour (hopefully before hurricane season starts).
Translation: I'll be back when I need more money. Bacause it's a 10th Anniversary show, I'll make sure Sharon invites a buttload of nu-metal bands.
Many thanks to all of the bands on this year's tour, especially the great Rob Halford and JUDAS PRIEST. Also a big thank you to [BLACK SABBATH bandmates] Tony, Geezer and Bill for another amazing tour together."
Translation: Rob Halford used my microphone. Now I have to buy another one. I wish I could buy another dummer, too. Does anybody give a fuck about Bill Ward? So help me god we tried to convince him to stay in Florida.
"Some crazy chick named Frances forced us to end Ozzfest a bit early" said Ozzy.
Translation: If there's one thing I'm good at, it's canceling shows. How dare this hurricane one up me?
"To the people of West Palm Beach and the rest of the state of Florida, Sharon and I want you to know that our thoughts are with all of you and hope everyone made it through the storm okay.
Translation: I'll be sitting back in a recliner watching my gigantic TV as my ugly, fat kids do something obnoxious. You don't really think I care about you guys, do you? I mean, if I gave a flying fuck about you people I'd at least mail a dollar in a get-well card. I tell you what, though. I'll allow the survivors to blow their hard earned cash on my next fecal dropping...er...album.
Rest assured that we’ll be back in West Palm in 2005 for Ozzfest's huge 10th anniversary tour (hopefully before hurricane season starts).
Translation: I'll be back when I need more money. Bacause it's a 10th Anniversary show, I'll make sure Sharon invites a buttload of nu-metal bands.
Many thanks to all of the bands on this year's tour, especially the great Rob Halford and JUDAS PRIEST. Also a big thank you to [BLACK SABBATH bandmates] Tony, Geezer and Bill for another amazing tour together."
Translation: Rob Halford used my microphone. Now I have to buy another one. I wish I could buy another dummer, too. Does anybody give a fuck about Bill Ward? So help me god we tried to convince him to stay in Florida.
